The Pop Tart Brigade


Three individuals (Charlotte, Caroline and Jon) set out to discover the best of the best Pop Tarts created by Kelloggs.

Wednesday, August 03, 2005

tart temperature and other procedure

I have noticed that the folks at headquarters are encouraging us to eat our tarts frozen.
Has anyone tried this? I feel apprehensive about eating a hot or even room temperature item preporting to simulate a milkshake. Maybe I should try the milkshake flavor frozen. But are we all supposed to try it at the same time? how does "Social" work?-Caroline

Tuesday, August 02, 2005

Frosted Blueberry

Oh yeah, now this is happening...I'm writing my first of many reviews. The first being the wonderful Frosted Blueberry, otherwise known as the frosted "bloob."

Upon opening the package I was starving, there could have been a stick of butter in that foil and I would have eaten it without complaint. However, I discovered the bloob, covered in just the right amount of frosting (which I think is standard among all frosted tarts) and just the right amount of little candy sprinkles. I had these once before, but I tried to block that from my memory.

Wow, untoasted I broke that gem into triangles and threw each piece down like I was eating my last meal. Very satisfying, in fact, I felt much like a kid again and it made me happy. I sat at my desk facing away from the crowd, hoping that I wouldn't be interrupted in this beautiful moment. Never fails, in walks my neighbor who always comes to visit when it's time to blow the nose, scratch the dry skin, or squeeze ticks out of their hair. It spoiled it for me. Something about nose-blowing in front of someone that makes me want to vomit. Sure we all do it, but we don't go visit a co-worker everytime we get an urge to clear our sinuses.

So now I associate the Frosted Bloob with nose-blowing. Gross! Never again...
Rating 2.0

Chocolate Chip

So I tried Chocolate Chip last night. I was expecting plain pastry with a chocolate filling and then chocolate icing -- because that's what the box showed. But when I opened a package, I was pleasantly surprised. The pastry was light brown in color -- it looked exactly like a chocolate chip cookie. And there were little chocolate chips imbedded in the top. There was also a drizzling of chocolate frosting (light brown in color) over the top. I wasn't very hungry when I toasted them, because I ate a big dinner, but the smell of them toasting was very good. Like chocolate chip cookies baking. I retrieved them from the toaster (burning my fingers per usual) and put them on a plate. I studied them for a little while before taking a bite. The imbedded chips had melted. So the whole thing was very similar to fresh baked chocolate chip cookies. But I took a bite of the corner and was nonplussed. The pastry didn't taste like chocolate chip cookies. It sort of lacked flavor. The chocolate icing on the top also didn't have much flavor. Then I hit the filling -- it was very shiny and dark brown. It taste like chocolate but definitely didn't taste like melted chocolate chips. I already wanted to jump ship, but figured I should press on to the middle. The middle being that point where the amount of filling is the greatest. but once I got in, I wanted out fast. I regretted every bit. I thought to myself, if I wanted a chocolate chip cookie, I would just make some. I wouldn't want or expect a pop tart to emulate a chocolate chip cookie. So I had a full tart and a 1/3 tart left. I wasn't sure what to do with them... I couldn't give them to Chouli (she only will eat the brown sugar cinnamon ones -- toasted, mind you, WITH frosting).

But then I thought oh I'll just throw them in the trash. Big problem with that, though... I have serious ants in my house. carpenter ants, sugar ants -- you name it. If it's an ant, it's been living the high life in my house. If I throw anything in my garbage, they find it, suck out any available sugary marrow, and head straight home to the large, lazy, pupated queen. They regurgitate their gift, thus propagating their family. Long story short, if I throw sugary tarts in the trash, I will have a veritable ant woodstock next morning. I once dropped a breath mint on my floor and the next day it was totally swarmed. I actually thought I saw little police ants with shields holding back the crowd.

So what did I do with the unwanted, wannabe CCC tarts? flushed em down the loo. after a few swirls, I could see them start to soften and down they went. brilliant.

so I score the Chocolate Chip Pop Tarts a 1.5. But I am sure if you are into them, they would be great. I brought the rest of the box into work today. I gave one package to Jon and put the rest of the box in accounting... -Charlotte

Monday, August 01, 2005


I am so happy to have a WildBerry experience after the degradation of Chocolate chip cookie dough and French Toast flavors. I would give raw WildBerry a 3.5 and, once toasted, it becomes a 4. In both conditions it would be nicely matched with a glass of cold milk; with the raw b/c it is so dry and with the toasted b/c it is so sweet.
It is my belief that this is a strawberry tart with wild frosting. The filling is uniformly bright red and the pastry is of the classic kind and texture but the frosting is a delightful purple swirled with blue. I think the intention is to make you think of other berries, but it reminded me of the graphics associated with that 90s classic, "Saved by the Bell." In fact, I think a cold glass of milk, a toasted WildBerry poptart and an episode of "SBTB" would be a wonderful pick-me-up. I would certianly recommend this flavor to others and would buy it again myself. Yum. -CACG